Taking Care Of Mommy

I know I haven't been around lately and haven't been writing any blog post.
for this I am very sorry but there has been a change in circumstances causing me to feel the blog isn't my number one priority.
As much as I love to blog and write about my family I feel that I needed to take time to deal with things happening in my life that revolves only around me.
Its taking me a long time to decide to write a blog post based on my feelings about my current situation, as a blogger I felt I should tell people right away, but as a mom and a girlfriend I figured these were private things to keep to just us until we knew more about what was wrong.

In April 2013 I decided to go to see my doctor my, OBGYN. I told him that I didn't feel quite right and some stuff seemed off so he decide to run some tests, these tests with decide if there was something wrong or if it was just my imagination. Looking back now I really wish it was just my imagination.
I was sent for blood work and ultrasound, the results came back that I had PCOS( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). I have had nothing but crazy times since finding out I had PCOS between the crazy change in diet, to the learning of the possibility of having more children.
now here's where it gets hard for me to talk about my situation since it revolves around the possibility of more children. the doctor is very optimistic that in the future I will be able to conceive a child he's just not optimistic that I will carry to full term. In fact I have about a 5% chance.

Now to most people seem like pretty crappy odds, but to me finding out that I probably had this my whole life and still conceived and carried a baby to term gives me hope that it will happen again. The only thing I worry about now is taking care of myself and making sure that I can maintain a healthy, happy life style.

They're just part of this syndrome that makes me almost hate myself, I know I can't control it and it's not because it's something I've done, but the side effects of PCOS its something that is hard to handle. From the loss of the hair on my head to now growing hair on my face it just doesn't seem fair.
Knowing that I am only heavy and a full figured woman because of this condition makes me feel validated telling people that I have literally tried everything to lose weight but couldn't.
Overtime I think I'll be back to writing my blog about everything family related and working, but for now I think I'm just going to have to stick to being a little further back from my blog.
Once I have had a little bit more time to process and get used to my new situation I'll be posting blog posts about my weight loss journey along with all the fun stuff that my son and my family have been doing for the last little while.
I hope everyone understands as to why it's taking me so long to talk about this, but its so hard and personal to discuss with the world.

To find out more about PCOS and some of what I have been going through please go back up and click on the full name in the brackets. 

Our March Break Part 2

For the second half of our March Break my Dad wanted to take L to The Royal Ontario Museum while they had their new Dino exhibit.

The exhibit had dinosaurs that most people have never even heard of since they were found in the southern hemisphere.
So the family woke early and piled into my fathers truck and we headed to Toronto for the day. This was the first time that L went downtown and my dad decided that he needed the whole Toronto experience so We parked at the Finch station and took the Subway.

The look of amazement on my child's face will forever be burned into my brain. He was so excited to ride a train and the fact that it went underground made it that much more exciting to him. When we did peek out from underground he was amazed at how fast the train could go.

Once we were downtown and reached the street L could not believe the size of the buildings, the whole way down to Toronto my dad told L that the Dino's were in a concrete jungle so when he saw all the buildings he kept asking where the Dino's were until he finally saw a sign for the exhibit on the side of the ROM.

Now a little back story about my dad, myself and the ROM. When I was about six or seven my dad took me to Toronto for a weekend to go to the ROM, the observatory and to a baseball game and ever since then I knew what some of the things I loved learning about where. I LOVE HISTORY and everything that goes with learning about it, and the chance to have L experience something that I love was amazing, but to have him do it with my dad was even better.

While at the ROM, L got to see over 20 different Dino's that he had never really read the name of before and they were all interactive with tablets and 3D images.

The Tablets that the ROM had for their interactive display 

What they looked like on display. The words reflected for picture taking  

More of the interactive displays 

They showed what they would look like sized to something from now

Fossils in mold

Once we finished the exhibit we all decided to check out their permanent collection which L loved just as much since they were all the ones he knew and could name without help at all. When I say he can name them I don't mean the things that we learn in books, movies or on TV, I mean he can say their Scientific names  and has no problem correcting you when he knows you're wrong.

His favorite from the permanent collection, a Triceratops  

While we were visiting the permanent collection he got to touch a real fossil that has not been reproduced. He got to feel the way time made rivets on the bone. He then got to take part in identifying different skulls from cavemen to wollymamaths.

L had a great time and so did Andrew, my Dad and myself. I wish this exhibit could have stayed longer so we could have gone back again.

To learn more about the exhibit that we saw please go to...... Ultimate Dinosaurs

At the site you will find information about the items used for all the technology and even some learning resources.

Our March Break

During our March Break seeing as L isn't in school yet we could do things at a different pace then most families can so we decided to do two big things and a few little.

Day one of March Break was March Muffin Madness run by SIRCH Community Services.
Since I work as a child care provider I don't usually get to participate in the workshops that are running, but this time was different I was able to participate with my son and have him be very hands on while learning to make healthy muffins.

The poster from March Muffin Madness 

When we arrived of course were the first because we live so close and then some of our friends arrived and L was in heaven so to say. He even made some new friends that day.
We all took our spots at the tables and began tasting already baked muffins since they needed to know what they would be making after all, they also enjoyed some very yummy juice.

L was so excited to start mixing all the ingredients into the bowls, he was so excited that instead of cracking the egg he smashed it. Then they were asked to pick a piece of paper from a bowl and that would be the flavor they got to do, L picked Banana which is one of his favorites. Mine too.

Once everything was all done and they were in the oven the children and parents were given some more juice or coffee and we were able to have some wonderful pizza that the Community Kitchen was preparing for donation. It was a nice little treat that they provided to keep the children happy.
When our muffins came out of the oven we all got to have two of every flavor to take home with us and as an added surprise the children were given the large mixing bowls they had used, pre made dry mix and a large spoon to make it all at home again.

L loved this activity and so did I, I loved watching him interact with the other children, follow instructions and create something with  little help from me.
I know his favorite parts of the day were eating pizza and playing with the other children, he told me this during our walk home and he still talks about it now. I also know that even though he doesn't understand that he was learning he did learn how to do more then just make muffins.

I think that the workshops that SIRCH Community Services run are perfect for such small communities like the one I live in, it helps parents and other people of the community learn vital things to help their families stay healthy and work within a very small budget that most of us have throughout the winter months.
Some other workshops they have had include learning about gardening and fermenting, These are some of the most recent ones and they have a few more happening soon so if you are interested you should check out the SIRCH website which I will have linked below.   

SIRCH Community Services Website  

How Can I Explain A Persons Death To A Child?

Yesterday my boyfriends grandfather passed away after battling Cancer.

I have lived through enough of my own friends and families death to know how to feel and react, but for him it is a somewhat new area.
I know I need to be there for him, but what happens when he won't let me? Lets face it he is a man and at the best of times keep their feeling hidden away and pretend everything is fine, when we all know it isn't.

I am having a hard time trying to explain that he's better now that he is gone and that is really true but knowing that and not being upset are two different things. My boyfriend is glad he's no longer in pain and knows it is best for him to be free. He just can't deal with what he's feeling and to add that on top our three year old has no idea what is going on.

We told L that his Great Grandfather had died and he thinks that he can come back another day which is normal and I know that, but for someone else to be grieving its a lot harder for them to hear that and not get upset.
I have already made the choice that L is just to young to deal with everything that we will have to go through the new few weeks and its best he not attend any gatherings for his Great Grandfather.
I asked my boyfriend what he felt about it and he said to me "I guess if you think that's best".

Have any of you dealt with trying to help an adult deal with death for the first time?
What are some tips that could maybe help me through this difficult time?

Do you think my choice for our son was the right one or should I let him go to funeral?
What age were you when you lost your grandparents? Are they all still alive?

I was 16 when my dad's mom passed away after an accident and then 6 months and one day later my dad's father died as well from cancer.
My other grandparents are still with us and I am so thankful for that and them to be here.
But I have lost a lot of people in my 26 years including my best friend 5 years ago this march.

If you have any ideas on how to help explain death to my son that would be wonderful please.

They Say Two Is Bad.... It Was A Walk In A Park Over Three

Today we had a bit of snow fall as well as yesterday, I decided while L's dad was at work L and I would go and clean up the driveway and he could play in his little snow fort.

This was not an easy task I soon found out, first he decided he wanted to help so we got his little shovel out that he uses at the beach and he tried to help, when I say try I mean tried my patience by getting in the way and pulling down all the snow from the banks we have made over Winter.
He then said he was to tired to help any more and I was thinking finally he will be out of the way so that my normally 15 minutes that has now turned into half an hour job and I was still not even half done will be finished. 

He sat against the car and watched me for about five minutes when he then decided to climb the hill of snow where I had just finally finished that area. He climbed to the top and pushed it all back down on the way up. I was starting to get tired and sore, I just wanted to go inside and not finish, but then what would that be teaching L, I can't have him learning that giving up is okay.

I pretended that he never knocked it all down and moved on for now. I guess he thought he could help from up there because the next thing I hear is "Mommy!!!! Look I am helping up here!" He thing start to throw it all to the ground.
Inside I was breaking and wanting to cry, but I kept going until I broke and told him that he could have a treat when we got inside if he climbed back down and sat by the car. I know what everyone is thinking. You are now bribing him?

I know its not the right thing to do, but at this point I was getting angry and didn't want to yell at him, He complied and waited for another 10 minutes when he then told me "Mommy!!!! Look I am helping again!!" 

And he was by now cleaning off my car.
So after another 35 minutes the driveway was done and we were in the house.

He then said "I can undress myself" so I sat and let him and instructed him when he needed a little assistance and watched as he got him self stuck and needed help, but not with out protest.
He finally got his boots off and we were in on the couch relaxing.

This wasn't all of his helping today, but dinner is a whole other story at a different time. 

Who Needs Sleep Anyway

Tonight marked the third or so  month of our little boy not sleeping very well. We have never had a problem with him sleeping until three months or so ago.

He was always the perfect sleeper ever since the day we brought him home from the hospital. He would wake to be fed once and then changed once. I am longing for those days again.
He now either will not go to bed and it takes up to 5 hours to get him to go to sleep or he goes to sleep with no troubles and wakes up one or more times.

Did anything like this happen to you at the Three Years stage? What are some tips you would give to someone in our situation?

• We have tried getting him a nightlight because he said that it was to dark. 
• We have tried getting him a big boy bed (single size) because his toddler bed was to small or so he says. 
• We have tried sleeping with him/in his room/new stuffed toy and this all still never changed anything.
• We have had to talk to the ghost in his room that doesn't want to stop talking at night. 
• The cat has to sleep on his bed (lets face it that's that makes two loosing battles in one night)
• The window had to be open/ closed. The door open/closed. The hall light on/off. This blanket or that blanket. 

While we have tired everything on that list still nothing has changed except our hydro bill.
How many of you have this reoccurring problem every night?
What are some ways you have got you child to sleep through the night?

Happy New Year!!!

I want to start of by wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and I hope that the holidays were as wonderful for you as they were for my family.

Last year had a lot of ups and downs for my family. I have been reflecting on them a lot more since Christmas was getting closer and the end of the year was quickly approaching.
I seen a lot happen to my friends and family and to myself.

As I reflected over the last year I was happy and a little sad. I finished my placements and Graduated from College to become an Early Childhood Educator. My first job after college resulted in me creating this very blog, I then was given the chance to work for the same place again only this time as a Children's Programmer for the Mom and Toddler group they run. To me everything was looking up.
It was looking up better then the years before, but there were somethings that took place between all these good.

When I was trying to finish my placements there were so many curve balls thrown at me that it was so hard to stay on track. The school informed me one week prior to when I would graduate that I was missing a class and I could either wait to graduate in November instead of June or I could write a test to become exempt from the formal class. I decided a week was all I needed to learn the course material and I guess I was right since I passed it with a 70%. I was back on track. 

After I graduated I looked so hard for a job in my field, but where we live there are no jobs for me to do and our family can not move because of my spouses job, I thought great here we go again. I was so happy when I was given the chance to write blog posts about things going on at SIRCH Community Services and the wonderful things that I got to do because of that job.
The job ended on the 31st of October and I was back where I started only I couldn't work because I had just underwent a Knee Scope and was unable to work or drive for a month. The scope went well and I was happy to be job hunting again, but in November in our little town, there is nothing for work at all.

December came and we found out that my Dad needed to have a pacemaker placed. He might have to retire a year early almost. My Dad loves his job so you can see how upsetting this was for him to hear.
They did the surgery and they were right his job was on the line. He was given not just a pacemaker, but a new kind that has a Defibrillator in it to prevent his heart from stopping. The reason he needed was because it had stopped a few times before and was luckily able to restart itself. The reason he would have to stop working is because he's a Journeyman/ Lineman and works around very powerful power lines.
Once I heard this you can imagine I was so scared to loose him , but have tried to keep up a strong front because its not about me, its about making him better, so I go and shovel the decks and drive him where he needs to go be it the store or to his office.

I was so excited to start a New Year after the one that just ended. I hope that this one is far better health wise for my friends and especially for my family.

My two resolutions for this year are to lose at least 15 pounds because my amazing friend is getting married in August and I am a Bridesmaid.
The other is that I can keep spending as much if not more time with my family, I love them all more then they will ever know.

What are some resolutions that you have?


To learn more about what my father has please click on this link or the word Defibrillator above.

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/heart/services/tests/procedures/icd.aspx