How Can I Explain A Persons Death To A Child?

Yesterday my boyfriends grandfather passed away after battling Cancer.

I have lived through enough of my own friends and families death to know how to feel and react, but for him it is a somewhat new area.
I know I need to be there for him, but what happens when he won't let me? Lets face it he is a man and at the best of times keep their feeling hidden away and pretend everything is fine, when we all know it isn't.

I am having a hard time trying to explain that he's better now that he is gone and that is really true but knowing that and not being upset are two different things. My boyfriend is glad he's no longer in pain and knows it is best for him to be free. He just can't deal with what he's feeling and to add that on top our three year old has no idea what is going on.

We told L that his Great Grandfather had died and he thinks that he can come back another day which is normal and I know that, but for someone else to be grieving its a lot harder for them to hear that and not get upset.
I have already made the choice that L is just to young to deal with everything that we will have to go through the new few weeks and its best he not attend any gatherings for his Great Grandfather.
I asked my boyfriend what he felt about it and he said to me "I guess if you think that's best".

Have any of you dealt with trying to help an adult deal with death for the first time?
What are some tips that could maybe help me through this difficult time?

Do you think my choice for our son was the right one or should I let him go to funeral?
What age were you when you lost your grandparents? Are they all still alive?

I was 16 when my dad's mom passed away after an accident and then 6 months and one day later my dad's father died as well from cancer.
My other grandparents are still with us and I am so thankful for that and them to be here.
But I have lost a lot of people in my 26 years including my best friend 5 years ago this march.

If you have any ideas on how to help explain death to my son that would be wonderful please.

They Say Two Is Bad.... It Was A Walk In A Park Over Three

Today we had a bit of snow fall as well as yesterday, I decided while L's dad was at work L and I would go and clean up the driveway and he could play in his little snow fort.

This was not an easy task I soon found out, first he decided he wanted to help so we got his little shovel out that he uses at the beach and he tried to help, when I say try I mean tried my patience by getting in the way and pulling down all the snow from the banks we have made over Winter.
He then said he was to tired to help any more and I was thinking finally he will be out of the way so that my normally 15 minutes that has now turned into half an hour job and I was still not even half done will be finished. 

He sat against the car and watched me for about five minutes when he then decided to climb the hill of snow where I had just finally finished that area. He climbed to the top and pushed it all back down on the way up. I was starting to get tired and sore, I just wanted to go inside and not finish, but then what would that be teaching L, I can't have him learning that giving up is okay.

I pretended that he never knocked it all down and moved on for now. I guess he thought he could help from up there because the next thing I hear is "Mommy!!!! Look I am helping up here!" He thing start to throw it all to the ground.
Inside I was breaking and wanting to cry, but I kept going until I broke and told him that he could have a treat when we got inside if he climbed back down and sat by the car. I know what everyone is thinking. You are now bribing him?

I know its not the right thing to do, but at this point I was getting angry and didn't want to yell at him, He complied and waited for another 10 minutes when he then told me "Mommy!!!! Look I am helping again!!" 

And he was by now cleaning off my car.
So after another 35 minutes the driveway was done and we were in the house.

He then said "I can undress myself" so I sat and let him and instructed him when he needed a little assistance and watched as he got him self stuck and needed help, but not with out protest.
He finally got his boots off and we were in on the couch relaxing.

This wasn't all of his helping today, but dinner is a whole other story at a different time. 

Who Needs Sleep Anyway

Tonight marked the third or so  month of our little boy not sleeping very well. We have never had a problem with him sleeping until three months or so ago.

He was always the perfect sleeper ever since the day we brought him home from the hospital. He would wake to be fed once and then changed once. I am longing for those days again.
He now either will not go to bed and it takes up to 5 hours to get him to go to sleep or he goes to sleep with no troubles and wakes up one or more times.

Did anything like this happen to you at the Three Years stage? What are some tips you would give to someone in our situation?

• We have tried getting him a nightlight because he said that it was to dark. 
• We have tried getting him a big boy bed (single size) because his toddler bed was to small or so he says. 
• We have tried sleeping with him/in his room/new stuffed toy and this all still never changed anything.
• We have had to talk to the ghost in his room that doesn't want to stop talking at night. 
• The cat has to sleep on his bed (lets face it that's that makes two loosing battles in one night)
• The window had to be open/ closed. The door open/closed. The hall light on/off. This blanket or that blanket. 

While we have tired everything on that list still nothing has changed except our hydro bill.
How many of you have this reoccurring problem every night?
What are some ways you have got you child to sleep through the night?

Happy New Year!!!

I want to start of by wishing everyone a very Happy New Year and I hope that the holidays were as wonderful for you as they were for my family.

Last year had a lot of ups and downs for my family. I have been reflecting on them a lot more since Christmas was getting closer and the end of the year was quickly approaching.
I seen a lot happen to my friends and family and to myself.

As I reflected over the last year I was happy and a little sad. I finished my placements and Graduated from College to become an Early Childhood Educator. My first job after college resulted in me creating this very blog, I then was given the chance to work for the same place again only this time as a Children's Programmer for the Mom and Toddler group they run. To me everything was looking up.
It was looking up better then the years before, but there were somethings that took place between all these good.

When I was trying to finish my placements there were so many curve balls thrown at me that it was so hard to stay on track. The school informed me one week prior to when I would graduate that I was missing a class and I could either wait to graduate in November instead of June or I could write a test to become exempt from the formal class. I decided a week was all I needed to learn the course material and I guess I was right since I passed it with a 70%. I was back on track. 

After I graduated I looked so hard for a job in my field, but where we live there are no jobs for me to do and our family can not move because of my spouses job, I thought great here we go again. I was so happy when I was given the chance to write blog posts about things going on at SIRCH Community Services and the wonderful things that I got to do because of that job.
The job ended on the 31st of October and I was back where I started only I couldn't work because I had just underwent a Knee Scope and was unable to work or drive for a month. The scope went well and I was happy to be job hunting again, but in November in our little town, there is nothing for work at all.

December came and we found out that my Dad needed to have a pacemaker placed. He might have to retire a year early almost. My Dad loves his job so you can see how upsetting this was for him to hear.
They did the surgery and they were right his job was on the line. He was given not just a pacemaker, but a new kind that has a Defibrillator in it to prevent his heart from stopping. The reason he needed was because it had stopped a few times before and was luckily able to restart itself. The reason he would have to stop working is because he's a Journeyman/ Lineman and works around very powerful power lines.
Once I heard this you can imagine I was so scared to loose him , but have tried to keep up a strong front because its not about me, its about making him better, so I go and shovel the decks and drive him where he needs to go be it the store or to his office.

I was so excited to start a New Year after the one that just ended. I hope that this one is far better health wise for my friends and especially for my family.

My two resolutions for this year are to lose at least 15 pounds because my amazing friend is getting married in August and I am a Bridesmaid.
The other is that I can keep spending as much if not more time with my family, I love them all more then they will ever know.

What are some resolutions that you have?


To learn more about what my father has please click on this link or the word Defibrillator above.

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/heart/services/tests/procedures/icd.aspx

Interview With Catherine

This is my interview with Catherine a mother from the Special Delivery Club and the Bright Starts Group. She has attended both and is still a participating member.

I hope that her answers help someone in Haliburton County make a choice to call and inquire about one or both of these groups.

The Interview

________________________________________________________

Q. How did you find out about the groups ? (Special Delivery Club and Bright Starts)

A. Through my doctor visits of my 3rd pregnancy.

Q. When did you start the groups? During pregnancy, after birth or after first birthday?

A. During my third pregnancy.

Q. What was your first reaction when you attended the first day?

A. I felt good that I was finally getting to visit with other pregnant moms and getting help with parenting and pregnancy issues. Also was good to get the free milk.

Q. What were some reservations you might have had before you attended your first group/day?

A. Meeting new people was hard, dealing with anxiety. Was nervous and shy.

Q. What's your favourite thing about the group(s)?

A. Being with other moms, relating with people having the same issues as me, getting help when I needed it most.

Q. What are some of your favourite activities you and/or your child has done with either group?

A. Learning the circle songs, and getting my children socialized with other kids.

Q. What are some of your best memories from attending group(s)?

A. Being able to talk to other moms and getting out of the house to do it is probably the best memories of both groups. If I didn't have that opportunity, I'd have probably gone crazy.

Q. If you had to pick just one thing to talk to people about from attending group(s) what would it be and why?

A. All the help that they have offered me when I extremely needed it. They were always there to help me with a solution or given my family what we needed at the time.

Q. What are some of the things you would tell someone who is interested in attending or might benefit from attending either or both groups?

A. There is a lot of parenting help offered for who needs it. Gives you a chance to get a break, to sit down with other moms and have a good conversation. Provides you and your kids with a good lunch while you are there. Sends you home with milk which is good because it's so expensive. Provides travel money or a way to get there so that you can be a part of the program.

Q. What kind of things have you learned at group?

A. How to deal with struggling parenting problems. Where to get help with issues from around the county. That I'm not alone in my struggles, that there are many dealing with the same stuff.

Q. If you were to have another child would you want to attend The Special Delivery Club again? If so or not, Why?

A. I would definitely attend again if I was having another child. I felt better knowing that I had a place to go once a week that I could be with other moms to talk about what I was going through, and also to get me out of the house. For a place to relax knowing my child was being looked after for a little while. To get help when I need it, and not being judged for my situation.

I would like to thank Catherine again for taking part in this interview.

If you would like to join or learn more about either group please contact
Daniela at 705-457-1742 ext 31 

Or visit 

http://www.sirch.on.ca/programs-services/

Interview With The Special Delivery and Bright Starts Group Moms

I was given the chance to interview some of the mothers from the Special Delivery Club and the Bight Starts group that are hosted by SIRCH Community Services.

In these interviews I asked 11 questions in total and asked them to send me via E-mail their responses, this way they could tell me word for word what their experiences were without me missing something. I wanted these woman to have the chance to speak their minds and not be miss quoted by me.

There are three interviews not including my own. I will be posting theirs before I post mine because they are the ones that are still taking part in these wonderful groups.
I have not attended either group with my child since early 2011.

I hope that these interviews can help a mother out there that might need a place to go and feel safe and know that there are others out there feeling or have felt the same way that they do.

If you would like more information on the Special Delivery Club or the Bright Starts group please visit the SIRCH Community Services website 

http://www.sirch.on.ca/programs-services/

or 

call Daniela Pagliaro at 705-457-1742 ext 31 

Family Fun Farm Tour ~ Windy Meadows

Windy Meadows Farm Tour

On September 15^th I was asked to join SIRCH Community Services for another one of their wonderful farm tours. This tour was of Windy Meadows and working farm that had Angus Beef Cows.

When we arrived to the farm is was such a nice fall day and perfect to be walking around a farm. We were greeted by Jean and Brian Neville. Jean was our tour leader for the day.
We started with some facts about the farm like it's 200 years old and they have 100 acres filled with cattle, a donkey, some chickens and turkeys and we can't forget the pigs.

Walking to the barn 

There is an old milk house that is located on the side of the barn which was once used to milk the cows in, but has since been changed into the chicken house. The old milk house once housed the cream separator and that was a hand operated machine.

The Chicken House 

In 2009 they renovated the barn because it was starting to sink and one wall was falling apart so they poured concrete to save the wall

The Barn was built low for the height of the people and back then people were a lot shorter it seems. This barn is still held together with the wooden pegs where the joists meet. There is even a wall in the lower part of the barn where you can see the boards that were original and that they were held together with straw.

There is a pulley system at the top of the barn where there is a few ropes attached so that they could move the loose hay that was brought into the barn by the horses on a wagon. They had a hay fork that was also attached to the pulley system and would pick up a quarter of the hay load and then the person controlling it would then move it across to the other side of the barn where they stored the hay.

The wooden pegs 

The Rope that attaches to the Pulley 

Pulley on the roof 

The Hay Fork 

She showed us the original way into the lower half of the barn down a home built in ladder. But lucky for us they now have built stairs to get to the lower half of the barn.

Walking down the stairs 

When we were down there we got to see the stable area for both the cows and the horse. We got to see what the cows eat from and it’s called a manger. The entrance to the chicken coop is also down in the lower half of the barn.

Entrance into Chicken House 

We were shown some really interesting Pigeons called Trumpeter Pigeons. What makes them interesting is the fact that they have feathers on their feet. They also mate for life and live for about 10 years.

Trumpeter Pigeons 

She told us an interesting fact about chickens and turkeys. They have to have little stones to eat so that they can grind up all the food that they eat. You can also buy special stones for them from feed stores.

She also said that they break up all the chicken eggs that they get from the chickens and feed them back to them so they get all the calcium that they need and if you don't break them up small enough then they will start to eat the eggs they lay, if they start doing that there is a little trick you can do to stop them. You take a broken egg fill it with bread mixed with water and pepper put it back in with the chicken and when they eat it the pepper will make it too hot for them and they will stop eating their eggs.

The Male Turkeys 

She told us the difference between Hay and Straw. Hay is used for feed for the cows and Straw is only used for their beds and it comes from wheat and barley.

She also told us that Hay can spontaneously con-bust if it is not fully dry when bailed. So they now have a special device to read the temperature of the middle of the bail. So the best climate would be a very dry July/August.As for Straw it is always dry long before the Hay is.

Hay

Straw

Showing us how the temp tool works 

One of my favorite parts of this tour was meeting the pigs but there is only one thing that these pigs are for. They are Spring to Fall pigs, but that doesn't change how cute they are. We all learned a very interesting facet about pigs: they come from the bear family. These kinds of pigs are called Brukshire Pigs and they always stay outside.

Brukshire Pigs 

Jean was nice enough to turn off the fence so that we could all get closer to the cows and feed them the special treat that they enjoy, bread.

Cows eating 

Feeding Cows Bread 

The cows were so friendly and enjoyed us being there. If you gave them the time to warm up to you they would let you touch them. I was lucky enough to get to rub ones nose. 

Me touching her nose 

Some interesting facts about cows....

- They have three stomachs
- If cows eat nails or other metal things they have to have a magnet placed in them to make sure the it doesn't move, this is called Hardware Disease.
- They gestate for nine months just like we do.
- If there is a set of twins that are male and female then she has a 6% chance of being able to reproduce. The hormones from the male cause this.
- This year they had two sets of twins and they came from mother and daughter.
- One set of twins this year was a male and female
- After the calf's a certain age they get separated from the rest of the cows so they can reproduce again.

The Donkey that they have is deaf, he is also albino. Donkeys are kept on farms because they will chase off dogs, wolves and anything else that is there to harm the sheep and goats and it will kill the predators.

Bringing the Donkey over 

We also were told that horses gestate for 11 months and very rarely had twins.

Once we were finished with the tour we were treated to a wonderful lunch of hamburgers and salads. The burgers were made from the meat that they produce from the farm and I must say it made me never want to buy beef from the store again. This was one of the best burgers that I have ever had.

The Homemade Burgers cooking 

This was so yummy 

I want to thank them again for having us there and providing such a wonderful lunch for everyone.

Quotes from this tour were pretty simple and understandable.

Mmmmmmmmm

                      -Amanda (Parent)

 Interesting learning about small farming

                                                    - Jennifer (parent)

If you would like to learn more about SIRCH Community Services or any of the programs they have to offer please visit their website 

  http://www.sirch.on.ca/