Saturday, November 2, 2013

Taking Care Of Mommy

I know I haven't been around lately and haven't been writing any blog post.
for this I am very sorry but there has been a change in circumstances causing me to feel the blog isn't my number one priority.
As much as I love to blog and write about my family I feel that I needed to take time to deal with things happening in my life that revolves only around me.
Its taking me a long time to decide to write a blog post based on my feelings about my current situation, as a blogger I felt I should tell people right away, but as a mom and a girlfriend I figured these were private things to keep to just us until we knew more about what was wrong.

In April 2013 I decided to go to see my doctor my, OBGYN. I told him that I didn't feel quite right and some stuff seemed off so he decide to run some tests, these tests with decide if there was something wrong or if it was just my imagination. Looking back now I really wish it was just my imagination.
I was sent for blood work and ultrasound, the results came back that I had PCOS( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). I have had nothing but crazy times since finding out I had PCOS between the crazy change in diet, to the learning of the possibility of having more children.
now here's where it gets hard for me to talk about my situation since it revolves around the possibility of more children. the doctor is very optimistic that in the future I will be able to conceive a child he's just not optimistic that I will carry to full term. In fact I have about a 5% chance.

Now to most people seem like pretty crappy odds, but to me finding out that I probably had this my whole life and still conceived and carried a baby to term gives me hope that it will happen again. The only thing I worry about now is taking care of myself and making sure that I can maintain a healthy, happy life style.

They're just part of this syndrome that makes me almost hate myself, I know I can't control it and it's not because it's something I've done, but the side effects of PCOS its something that is hard to handle. From the loss of the hair on my head to now growing hair on my face it just doesn't seem fair.
Knowing that I am only heavy and a full figured woman because of this condition makes me feel validated telling people that I have literally tried everything to lose weight but couldn't.
Overtime I think I'll be back to writing my blog about everything family related and working, but for now I think I'm just going to have to stick to being a little further back from my blog.
Once I have had a little bit more time to process and get used to my new situation I'll be posting blog posts about my weight loss journey along with all the fun stuff that my son and my family have been doing for the last little while.
I hope everyone understands as to why it's taking me so long to talk about this, but its so hard and personal to discuss with the world.

To find out more about PCOS and some of what I have been going through please go back up and click on the full name in the brackets.